when the fear paralyzes me
I fall to my knees
and then to the ground
curled in a fetal position.
the anxiety invades my joints-
and I cannot move anymore.
I fall into a fitful sleep
and I do not wake up to sunshine
warming my skin
and radiating through my window.
during the day the monster wakes spontaneously
without warning-
eternally haunting me.
but when nighttime falls
and sleep is ready to sweep me off my feet
the darkness falls even harder
so I am wide awake
armed and ready
to face 12 grueling hours of grotesque fear and misconception
brought to me by my very own mind.
my shaking limbs
aching bones
and heavy trepidation resets
and the monster is here
alive and well-
again.
ilc