i told you that i have been sleeping a lot lately,
you told me that you were jealous.
said that if you could sleep 22 hours a day, you would, too.
but you don’t understand
that i hate the way in which i operate.
so familiar with my bed,
as if it were another layer of my skin.
so used to my curtains being closed,
that the sun has become an abnormality.
i sleep around 18-22 hours a day.
i can’t wake myself up and keep myself awake
no matter how hard i try.
people suggest energy drinks
showering
vitamin B-12
something to keep me occupied-
but this,
is not normal.
this cannot be cured with your remedies
because i am quite literally a permanent part of my bed.
so can’t you just accept that you can’t help?
can’t you just leave me alone to avoid insulting me?
because trust me, you do not want this life.
sleep has robbed everything from me.
so don’t act like i am lucky,
because i dream of dying peacefully-
and that isn’t living,
it’s just cruelty.
ilc